.

I do not like work when it makes me feel dumb.

I don't want to talk anymore, ever since these events occurred.

God bless you Emma.

DDDDDAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I know it's not football season yet, but I just feel like we need something to pass Monday night until Chuck, How I Met Your Mother, and The Big Bang Theory come back.  You add in a healthy dose of NFL action and Monday's aren't that bad, except returning to work and summer.  So I thought why not treat today like Saturday, who doesn't like Saturday?  So with out further ado, I present some of my favorite SNL clips.

The ESPN Classic's are brand new to me, but they are funny as hell.

And one final one with Justin Timberlake.

So for any of you cat lovers out there, beat this bulldog.

So it's another successful day of doing absolutely nothing.  Which is what your about to become.

I also just found out there is a Spaceballs: The Animated Series.  If anyone has seen this and thinks it is worth me trying to find it let me know. 

So have you ever been pissed off at people that just do stupid things.  Check out these two idiots from seperate football games.  In the first clip, not only does the stupid running back run the wrong way, he throws the ball up in desperation for no reason only to give up a touchdown.

And in this one, if you catch a field goal in live play, and your not tackled, don't spike the ball!  Douchebag.

We even have special green text to commemorate the victory.  It's good because I am so thirsty.  So as of right now I believe I win the contest for the online games unless they are hustlers so I think I am sitting pretty.

Also here is a special video dedicated to BQuad and Qpain.

I expect both of you to go home and practice this weekend.  So you are able to put up a challenge come the next Rubber Band Battle 2 The Death!!!

Also with the weekend coming up I want to post a couple of public service announcements for anyone going to a park, forest, lone tree, etc. or any business owner out there.

And finally, this is also a failed marketing campaign for Crayola.  P.S. It's not true.

First things first.

DIET MOUNTAIN DEW is for Men, Big Strong, Men.

Puppets are strong right?  Fine, if they aren't how about Chuck Norris?

Anyway the bet is has follows, Stahlwalker vs. B-Quad in high score at Tetris, Stahlwalker vs. Q-Pain in island mini golf.  If either win I take them to Red Lobster, but in all reality when I win they give me a Diet Mt. Dew. 

I almost feel bad, it's so unfair, it's like...

...like...

...like...

The World's Most One-Sided Fist Fight (Which I don't punch girls in the face like Nosajmunson claims).

So we now have two games on the game page:

Island Mini Golf

Also just added Tetris.

It's a hectic week with it seems like everything under the sun going to SHIT.  So why not report on the stuff that isn't quite SHIT.  BAD NEWS FOR SMOKERS IN PRISON.

The other night we went to an event called Pasta in the Park here in Colorado Springs.  They had a crap load of wine, pasta, items up for auction, and beer ladies that gave us free Bristol beer.  Thank you to my angels by the kegs.  It was great Laughing Lab and Beehive.

So Jenny Craig had a pasta stand, well, look for yourselves.

Yes, it is called "Jenny Craig presents Magic Mushroom Marinara", with a pot leaf.  Shouldn't Jenny Craig be against the munchies?

Also, in Iowa a Son-Of-A-Bitch Mouse Solves Maze Researchers Spent Months Building.  Click the pic for full story.

GREAT NEWS EVERYONE!!! STAHLWALKER.COM is now hosting Flash Games.  CHECK BACK TOMORROW FOR NEW GAMES, THROUGHOUT THE DAY.

So my sister Jaina Stahlwalker came to visit from Sunday through yesterday.  It was a great time starting out by going to the Rockies game.

I also had the best seat in the house.  And by best I mean I couldn't even see home.

I was also there with my beautiful fiance TPOW.

They won the game on a walkoff by Tulo.  So it was fun, also Jaina made an ass of herself by missing her chair and falling.  I loved it.

We also went to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo in Colorado Springs.  I was almost killed by this F'n Silverback.

But say what you want, those fucking giraffes are majestic.

And one fucking evil meerkat.

Oh and this is for Nosajmunson and his website IHatePeacocks.  He told me to check it out and it is that f'n great here it is.

So anyone that knows me, knew that my goal for my dog Charlie was that he would be trained to fight bears.  Well, after watching the bear named Claude, I am officially withdrawing Charlie form the fighting ring.  Charlie has been to the Pet ER while this bear is trained better then Donatello of TMNT.  Don't believe me watch him for yourself.

Speaking of Charlie, the world's coolest dog did it again.  He managed to eat a slightly poisonous mushroom and has been vomiting for the last three days.  It was so bad that I had to work from home today to give him antibiotics every 3 hours.  Poor little guy, he is expensive but thank god for VPI Pet Insurance.  I highly recommend it to anyone with an injury prone pet.  They even send you cool stuff for them.  Like this shirt and tie for National Take Your Pet to Work Day.

How can something so ugly has a vomit covered mushroom come out of such a happy dog.  Also I have to give round one to Nosajmunson, I made a comment about 6 months ago in front of a cute girl to embarrass him.  The entire time, he sat and waited for his chance, and then did the same to me, only I was left completely speechless.  I will not repeat either comment, but you win you Peacock Hating Son of Bitch.

And yesterday's riddle They all have the number 3.

Harmon Killebrew = #3 for the Minnesota Twins

Gemini = Third astrological sign

Lord of the Rings = 3 movies

Lithium = Atomic number of 3

Nuclear accident = Occurred on Three Mile Island

You can put it on the board, the Twins are in first place, Yes!!!  The magic number is down to a minimal 49.  So if you want a little brain tester see if you can figure out what the following things have in common:

Harmon Killebrew

The astrological sign Gemini

The Lord of the Rings movies

Lithium

A nuclear accident in Pennsylvania

That little quiz will make you think.  Some people that need to think a little harder are people who spell on public signs.\

How can anybody be that stupid that they didn't notice those mistakes< Where are their coworkers to slap them?

I will explain the relationship of the riddle tomorrow.

Back for the first time just like Ludacris.

Sure, I'm not a famous rapper who sounds cool when he says that , but I am pretty f'n sweet.  So sweet in fact that I am selling a 1994 Eagle Vision for $1000 bucks or best offer.  If interested shoot me an email.

Just so you know, by reading my site you are spending money.  How much money?

As late as 1993, high-tech paraphernalia like computers, printers and video games had a negligible effect on power usage. Today, it's estimated to account for more than 13 percent of a typical household energy budget. By 2020, it could be as much as 25 percent.  So 13 percent of your energy bill is my fault.  Your welcome.

Don't blame me because my site is awesome and totally worth it.  Blame them.

Fine, would some nudity help you.  Okay, part of the great disappearance of 8 days was creating Justin Timberlake tribute page of girls who are bringing Sexy Back.  If you find the link, you win.  Included is a more revealing picture of Kelly Kapowski. 

Yeah, again your welcome.  Good luck hunters and lonely men alike.  I also have a beef to pick with one of the great American institutions, alcohol.  What the hell is up with all the gizmo's and gadgets lately.  Really, a vortex bottle that spins the beer out, no it doesn't your full of shit Miller Lite.

If you notice the side pour view the beer comes straight out.  Now I am a Miller Lite fan, but go back to just making funny commercials.

JUST MAKE GOOD BEER!!!

And Coors Light, I can feel if my bottle is cold, I don't need no stinking window.

One beer I am liking is Flying Dog Ale.

Now you probably never heard of them, but that is as good shit as I have had lately.  Reasonably priced.  All this ranting has me panting, I need a beer.  Until next time deuces bitches.

So my new word is BUTTSLAMMED, such as "Wow, I was Buttslammed at the car dealership today!".  It's such a fun word, just say it once.  I googled Buttslammed and found the following real internet quotes about it.

1) On Super Mario 64:

The game changes on Dec. 17, which is also the Bodyman's birthday, Tron Legacy comes out and incase you haven't seen a preview for it, here is one in HD.

I know it's a little big, but it everything is bigger in the virtual world.  I just received my Flynnlives.com postcards for beating all 32 levels in circuit circles.  The really started to get me pumped for the new movie.  Also thanks to Nosajmunson for lending me the original Tron, which I watched twice the weekend.  The original light cycle scene.

And a movie this good, deserves to be celebrated in style.