Nothing good happens after midnight is a popular saying among the drinking world.  It is especially true when 3 of the last 5 days you have to wake up at 4 AM.  Now, granite it would be a crap load worse if I was drinking the night before but it still sucks.   It takes away all the fun of the day because you are too tired to do anything, including update a website.  Twice it was for work, once it was to take the "Stairway to Heaven".

Also found out my dog as a death wish when it comes to chasing wildlife.  He tried to jump out of a Jeep to chase this Mule deer.

Props to the Nosajmunson for all his work with me on switching over the faxes to paperless.  Now all incoming faxes at work are made into tiff files, and not the hot kind either.  :(

Yes, that is one downloadable tiff.  Yes, it is. 

I mean any episode of Saved by the Bell you whores.

Also want to give my props Sir SQL Strikes.  If it wasn't for him would still be working on an issue that he reminded me of KISS.  First rule of IT is, Keep It Simple Stupid.  This is the Flying Eagle by Chris Barnes for you Sir SQL Strikes.

Also I about died today.  The world's first flying, man eating, spider was in my cube.  We honestly killed it by smashing it with a full pop, having a case of cd's sit on it, and hit it with a stick.  IT CAME BACK TO LIFE 20 MINUTES LATER.  It's almost as if the spirit of IG-88 infected it.  I also believe at one point it was typing at the computer next to me and it even called my desk phone.  If that shit is back tomorrow I quit.  I would show you a picture of it, but it took my film and got it developed and destroyed all the pictures.  I also think it speaks fluent Russian, but that might be Spanish, I'm not sure, I'm not a doctor.

F'n Whorish Man-Eating Spider.

What kind of idiots believe in i-dosing?  For those of you that are new to this, it is supposed music and/or sound files that alter your brainwaves to give you the same effect as recreational drugs.  Some get you drunk, high, rolling on ex, etc.  So what cracked individual thought that listening to a song is the exact same as drinking a case of beer?  I have done that many times, and never have I felt the same when hearing a song as the nights that I don't remember.  But for those of you that would like more info, read below.

Whores.

I-DOSER.com

I-doser.com sells different packages of music for about 20 bucks a pop and a book telling you how to best listen to get the full effect.

Whores.

Some of the real packages for sell:

Samples of the Sexual:

Let's get drunk.

Whatever, Whores.

So I was "hired" by Nosajmunson to beat a game for him.  Circuit Cycles.  The payment was one buffet at CiCi's Pizza.  Not the world's greatest pizza, but a buffet for 4.99, who's complaining.

Anyway, back to the real reason why I woke up Monday morning.  Getting it on Tron style.  The game is simple, drive the same colored light bike through the same colored boxes.  You can't go over your trail or a different color trail.  Nosajmunson got stuck at level 8.  I, ANAKIN STAHLWALKER, beat all 32 to give him the special edition collector's cards. Below are some of my award winning VICTORIES.

Another one here.

All building up to TRON.

But now the real question, do I create my own account and try to beat my score for Nosajmunson, I think a true Jedi would.

Also another stupid sign that is funny.

It can be dangerous when mounted, so protection is key.

So the new car is done and here are some pictures during and after the repair.  A tree fell on it during a storm, totaling the car out completely.  Again all props go to the Bodyman and Stahl's Collision Center.

Getting Ready for the paint booth.

Need a picture of it completed yet, will post as soon as I get one.

Random sign and advice to live by.

"So how many matchsticks does it take to make a picture of Grandpa?

One, he was cremated." - Tommy Savitt, Comedian

"If a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his ass when he jumped." - Red Foreman, TV Dad on That 70's Show

Also random stupid sign.

I am finally home and kicking in Colorado.  It's gorgeous here, nothing like seeing Pikes Peak from 60 miles outside of "da Springz".  I now have my normal computer and stuff back so the updates will be back to normal frequency.  I love South Dakota with all my heart, but when your AT&T phone works in Nebraska and not South Dakota? C'Mon.

How in H E (Double Hockey Sticks) does Puerto Rico have full coverage and not South Dakota?

The fiancé got mad at the swear word from the title of the 12th.  So in retrospect maybe I should take some good advice.  Don't say bitch, drop the t, cuz bich is Latin for generosity.

The completed car works very nice.  Need to wash it then will post pictures of the sweet ride.

Posted a couple more pictures on the fishing page.  Forgot the camera for golfing so that sucks.  Here a couple pix from my flight from Col. Sprgs. to Denver.

My actual plan for the flight

Pikes Peak.

Colorado Springs from flight with the Rockies in the distance.

DIA from above.  The roof is the white spikes that are made to look like the snow capped rockies.

Also found an interesting story about rivers.

This is from the Oahe Dam, the start of the 240 mile reservoir.

Check out my buddies website for his raceteam.  Also met is cool gf for the first time.

So it's been six days since my last updates, and a lot of shit has happened since then.  I look like Michael Jackson in between stages.  I have a farmers tan that makes me look half Mexican, half Albino.  It's very nice.  So the vacation is almost over and the main reason as passed.  The Theeler Fishing Derby aka THE SUNSET SAFARI XXXI.

Check the fishing tournament page when official results are posted will probably be a week or so.  Unofficially we did average, but we did catch the seventh biggest wally of day 1.  Thanks to the Bodyman.

So we did receive a little payout for that one, but total weight we placed 23 out of 33 teams. So I have one golf tournament left which I hope to have some pictures from tomorrow.  It's the annual Corn Palace Stampede golf tournament.  I am on a best ball team with the Bodyman.

Great things happening in the world.  Including my friend's beer bong table she is making from bottle caps.  GO SIOUX.

It's amazing what a woman from the alcohol plains of Grand Forks can do.  Nice work by LasAsh.

Other news is my car is done and I hope to have pictures from start to finish (or close enough) posted tomorrow.  Thanks to Bodyman and Stahl's Collision Center for that one.

Also WHAT THE FUCK happened Minnesota Twins? I leave and your in first, I get back and Morneau is out with a concussion and we are in third.  I hope the second half is like the last couple of years, but we are hurting.  We need some motivation so without further ado, KIIIRRRRRBBBBBEEEEE PUCKETT.

Oh yeah, who needs roids when you got Defense.  Torii robs Bonds in a tribute to the first halves best defensive team.

It's finally time to fly home for the Theeler fishing derby.  More details about the tourney on my fishing page.  I now get to see the Rocky Mountains from the sky for the first time in daylight.  The only other time I fly during daylight by the mountains, I jumped out of a plane.  Really couldn't appreciate the view while free falling towards Earth.  My first leg is a 41 minute flight from Colorado Springs to Denver aboard an Embraer ERJ 190.

The second leg is from Denver, CO to Minneapolis, MN.  This an 1 hour and 56 minute flight aboard an Airbus A319.

On both legs I am trusting the friendly folks of Frontier Airlines.  Hope to post pictures of the Rockies when I land in Minneapolis.

So in the day and age when everything is overanalyzed and you can find stats on anything.  I thought it would be nice to break down some shit.  Like who knew I have made a pro/con list everyday after July 4th, 2010.  So here is my pro con list about what else, pro con lists:

PROS:

Helps you debate things equally

Let's you list at all the advantages of a topic

They can be funny

CONS:

Your gay for actually using them for anything serious.

This is how a pro/con list is properly done.

BRAVO Joe, even though you are a "still a Minnesota prick".

By the way it's not that I don't like pro/con lists, they are just pointless, if you already think all those things in your head, why right them down?  Someone will just find it and get pissy at you later.  Case in point, click here.

And now BLOOPERS IN SPACE.

And in a tragic turn of events, NHL.COM is no longer.

NEW YORK—In a disappointing coda to one of its most thrilling seasons in years, the NHL lost its longstanding Internet domain last week when executives failed to pay the renewal fee for NHL.com, allowing 18-year-old California resident Fredrick Westfield to purchase the URL for $10.69. "While our online situation is not ideal, our fans will still be able to get all the latest breaking hockey news they crave at NHLHockeySports.com," Commissioner Gary Bettman said of the domain his league will use unless Westfield lowers his NHL.com asking price from the "exorbitant sum" of $2,000 to something more reasonable. "Fans can still be friends with the NHL on Facebook and MySpace, where we post tons of great stuff like photos, videos, scores, and poll questions." Bettman later admitted that he wasn't sure how the problem was overlooked nine months ago when the league was forced to upgrade from its previous Yahoo! GeoCities hosting platform.

That story was broke by theonion.com

Well, like most people on this day we are remembering the 4th of July.  America turned 234 today.  Remember, our freedom started way back in 1776, with the American Revolution.  Great movie about this is Mel Gibson's The Patriot.

But freedom is not just about kicking ass on the battlefield.  You also have to be able to handle yourself in the political arena.  Such as Adlai Stevenson's speech to the U.N. and more specifically the U.S.S.R. on the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1963.

So if we beat the world powers in 1776 through military force, the other world super power through politics what's left for America.  Well, let's defend the entire planet in what is one of the greatest movie speeches in my opinion. - - The Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night!" We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!

So my vacation has officially begun, and to kick it off I took the mongrel swimming.  Charlie is my 15 month old chocolate lab.  I know he looks really light, but trust me, he is a pure bred Chocolate.

He is not the only one that looks like him.  There are dogs called "Dudley's" which look like Charlie.  He has the powder red nose chocolates normally have and also dark chocolate rings around his eyes.  Charlie just doesn't have the normal pigmentation of a chocolate lab.

This isn't Charlie, but it's a lot like him.  I took Charlie swimming look at this savage beast in action.

For all his faults, like eating my pillows, he is well worth.  Recommend any out there to get a lab.  Also get VPI pet insurance, saved us tons of money so far.  Did you know labs can break their tail for being to excited?  I found out the hard way.

So I am huge Vancouver Canucks fan, and another reason why that city is just better then, well you, is the following sign.  How many other cities speak dog?

So here is just a collection of funny images I have come across lately.

This one relates to the news story by the Onion, which announces soccer is gay.  This only confirms that story.

All you twilight fans, it's not cool to watch people sleep.

And the rest are a collection of funny signs around the world.

It's sad that Florida even has to have a law against this.  Picking him out of lineup should be easy though.  "I think it's number 4, yep the one with the penis bitten off."

July 1, 2010 - Let's get perverted!

So on this the day of someone's daughter's wedding, we are celebrating ... perverts?

Look at this kid.  He has life figured out, that young and already found the key to happiness.

He is even positioned for success.  There's future criminal.

Even in mother nature, there are brute animals that are ready to just take out the innocent. 

That eagle has a really creepy look.  Not like don't step to this, but more of a "Ah yes, this is going to be fantastic, come closer, no one's looking" type vibe going on.

Even on motivational posters you can't be safe from the perverts.

F'n ninjas.